Free Webinar: Loving Your Life After Divorce | Join us February 27 at Noon EST |   REGISTER NOW

Ep. 41 – Slow Step Power

After divorcing you may feel beaten up. Having goals and taking small steps towards them daily can do wonders for building your self-esteem and creating the life you want. In this episode, I share 8 tips on how small steps can be a powerful tool in getting you where you want to be.


Hello, my beautiful friends, and how are you? Hope you’re having a good day. I know things are tough after divorce or if you’re still going through it, so how do we start to feel better? Big question, right? I talked to you in previous episodes about first letting yourself grieve, get past the sadness, the anger, the disappointment, the confusion.

Whatever you are dealing with emotionally as to the divorce, but you don’t wanna stay stuck. Fair. Right. So today I wanna talk about taking small steps towards action, action, and goals to recreate your life. To create the next chapter of your amazing life. So if you’re ready, let’s get started.

Are you ready to create a life that’s better than ever before? We are Doreen Yaa and Jeff Wilson, and we are here to give you the strategies you need to create the life after divorce that you. And desire as partners, both in marriage and coaching. We use our expertise as well as our own personal experiences to help you make the next chapter of your life the best chapter.

Today we’re gonna talk about taking action when we don’t want to or when we dunno how to. And why are we gonna do that? We’re gonna do that because we wanna create the best life we can. We wanna reach out for those goals because as I say, this life we’re in, it’s. Address rehearsal. How do you feel better?

What does that look like for you? I recommend that the first thing you wanna do is set forth on some goals, whatever it is. I always talk about maybe starting a new career, maybe it’s a workout goal, a weight goal could be any kind of goal. So have a little conversation with yourself cuz you know what you just went through or you’re going through divorce and that’s not.

Emotionally a great place to be, right? Hopefully through my podcast and my episodes, I’ve taught you some tips on helping you to get through and to change your thoughts, to try to deal with it on a different level and get you to the next chapter sooner than later. But when we’re thinking about how.

Ourselves up and really try to get past this. I don’t know for you, but I know for me, and I know for many of my clients having these goals, having the focus on these goals, it’s important. It helps to make you feel better. You know, I remember when I was in law school and I was also working full-time and it was a lot on my plate, but when I had downtime and I wasn’t reaching for that goal, let’s say school was out for the summer or something like this, I really almost felt uneasy.

I didn’t know what to do with myself, right? And then I would try to turn to another goal to to help. You know, bridge that gap anyhow. What is it for you that you want? Now, what happens with many of us is we have good intentions, right? You set a goal, you’re really excited about it, but when you start to take action on it, Something gets in the way, right?

Confusion. I don’t know, I might fail. People might have thoughts about this, whatever it is, right? And so today I wanna talk about eight tips on how to take action towards your goals, right? And the first thing I wanna talk about is taking. Any action is the most important first step. It could be as simple as just writing down your goal.

Write it down. The power of writing something down on paper is amazing. So take that little baby step. Look others of us, and maybe that’s, you think that I gotta take this big leap, right? I gotta like jump all in or else I’m not gonna reach my goal. And the truth of the matter is that’s your brain just playing tricks on you.

You know? Let’s equate it to a flower. You plant a seed in the ground. You don’t see the seed after you plant it, right? And what happens? Well, it probably will get watered. It’ll start to take in the nutrients of the soil. It’ll start to take in the sun. And little by little it starts to push through the ground and you start to see it rising up above the earth.

Small little baby steps. That’s what it takes. You have to be patient. And the reality is that if you don’t plant the seed, You’re not gonna have the flower. So my very first step is just to take the action of planting the seed, dream it, think it, plant it, then do it. The next step is taking that first step, and you know, for many of.

That first step is the hardest step, but you know what you need to do. Some of us don’t take a first step because we are living in this world of procrastination. This waiting game of trying to make sense of it, figure it out, have it all detailed and organized and overthinking. Can be a steeler of your dreams.

So how do you take action? Well, you just take a step. I know that sometimes taking a step is scary, but take one little step towards the goal. We all know that to achieve progress, you have to take action. Try thinking about your future self. The possible outcomes, the probability of this happening, the amazing life that you can have, all by just taking the plunge, taking the one step, diving into it on some level.

The third step is be okay, starting where you are. That little seed. That you plant in the ground, when you start taking the action, you will increase your skill level and that will increase over time. And as we all know, the reality is that if you don’t take action to. Your goals, your dreams, nobody else is going to do it for you.

Inactivity is the killer of dreams. I call it the steeler of dreams. I think one of the most sad things is when people don’t take action and they look back at their life and they say, but I never did it and I always wanted to. And what’s even sadder than. Is imagine if they could have been this amazing person, this amazing goal that they wanted to receive, to get to have, and they just never took the action, but it could have been the best thing that ever happened to them.

The best thing that can happen to you. Action. Strengthens you. It grows. It makes you smarter. You learn more. You self correct yourself. You move along, you improve, and you become the better version of yourself. It leads to confidence and how do you build confidence by taking action. Potentially failing, getting yourself back up again and keep going.

You know what, I equate this to a toddler. Have you ever watched a toddler ? You know, I have four kids, so I saw a lot of this. When they’re learning to walk, what do they do? Well, the first thing is they’re crawling and then they find a piece of furniture. They. Pull themselves up and they start to gain strength.

Now they’re standing up and they start to fall and they fall, but then they pull themselves up again, and before you know it, they’re taking a few steps and then they fall again. And then their strength continues to grow. Their arms, their legs, their mindset. And they try again and they fall again. And sometimes the falls are not pretty right.

So maybe consider equating yourself to the toddler learning to walk and that’s. The next thing, which is make regular, consistent, small steps, just like the child learning to walk who continuously falls and gets up. Are you feeling overwhelmed about starting? Don’t worry. Many of us do. Are you feeling fearful, confused, paralyzed, worried, apprehensive.

When you start, you have to take yourself outta your comfort zone. To grow. And just like anything, you just keep building on those regular small steps towards your goal. And here’s another bit of advice. When you fail, when you, for example, eat way off. Protocol for the day and your diet’s out the window.

Please don’t sabotage yourself. Keep going. Start again. Start again right at that moment when you realize it, and just keep moving forward. Now, why do I talk so much about improving your. Life after going through or in the middle of divorce. Why? Because you’re gonna learn from your divorce, you’re gonna get stronger from your divorce.

You’re going to now realize that you can accomplish things having gone through the divorce. And having survived and gotten to the other level that you never thought was possible, and you’ll be okay. The next thing is start small. You know, I talked about this at the beginning of my episode today. You don’t have to jump all in.

I talked recently in one of the episodes I think about exercise. I’ve had a struggle with weight for some years now. I’m just, you know, I try my best, but I’m one of those people that we drive all in. You know, I have to go to the gym and work out an hour a day getting involved in some program where, you know, I’m burning like 500 calories in an hour.

And one day I realized, It’s not necessary to do that, that I can just take a walk for 15, 20 minutes, literally put on my sneakers and just go for a walk. It’s those small little things, those small steps, to get you started in the right. Direction. They add up, they build momentum. They keep you engaged, and little by little you will find that that 15, 20 minute walk turns into miles and miles that you’ve walked over the course of a month or even a year.

The next thing. Don’t be fearful of having to restart. Sometimes we start working towards a goal, and I think most of you, including myself, are guilty of this. You start your goal, you start your small steps, you start the next day, and then. Something happens. You’re not in the right mental state, or maybe you get sick or something else happens in your life and you have to put that goal away for a while.

It’s okay to do that and then restart again. Do not think of yourself as a failure because you’re not. I find for me that having. A reason to focus on my journey towards whatever goal it is is exciting enough to keep me moving forward even when I have to start my goal over and over again. Again, just like the baby who eventually has learned how.

Time and time again. Having falling down, keeps going, keeps going in one day, what do they say? They call it the terrible twos. I love all the ages, but now they’re off to the races. You can’t keep ’em still. They’re running all over the place. Right? That could be you. Towards your goals, your life, your next chapter.

The next thing is don’t undermine the learning opportunities you’ll have by taking small steps. One positive aspect of starting small is you discover what works and what doesn’t work. Maybe you. A particular course of action was the right way to go, but you learn. Maybe it isn’t. And what do you do? You try a different way.

Plain and simple. This affords you the opportunity to evolve and discover new ways. Of achieving your objectives, your goals. Think of it as a testing situation, an experiment. You can try new things to get there. Why not? Don’t be so hard on yourself. You will get there and you’re going to become basically educated.

Informed and knowing of what works and what doesn’t, and you’ll be able to fine tune it. And my last bit of advice is slow and steady wins the race, right? We’ve all heard that before, but everything big that you see. Around you. The beautiful flower in your front yard, the trees, the building that you admire.

They all started brick by brick, piece by piece. Seed by seed to be where they are today overnight. Stardom and success is rare, my friend. It will take time, headaches, and persistence to get to the goal, and that’s okay. You have to put in. To get what we desire. And sometimes it takes years and that’s okay too.

Better than not trying at all. So as you continue to heal and grow and learn from your divorce, may I suggest that you set those goals, plant the seed. Nourish it and watch it bloom into the beautiful flower that you are. All right, my friends. Have an amazing, amazing week. Love yourself, love each other, and until next time.

See ya.

You have the vision of what you want your life to look like after divorce, but maybe you just don’t know how to get there. So if you’re ready to take control of your life and want to find out more about our coaching, visit us at l a d That’s l a d as in life after divorce.

Until next time, have an amazing rest of your day. And remember, yes, you can have an amazing life after after divorce.

Start creating your best life after divorce and book your complimentary Discovery Call