Ep. 45 – Reinvent Yourself

Hey, my beautiful friends. How are you? I’m so excited today. I’m doing good over here. Gonna talk to you about something that I just love. So this subject today, this episode is about reinventing yourself after divorce, but really it’s about reinventing yourself. Time. So if you are ready, let’s get started.

Are you ready to create a life that’s better than ever before? We are Doreen Yaha and Jeff Wilson, and we are here to give you the strategies you need to create the life after divorce that you. And desire as partners, both in marriage and coaching. We use our expertise as well as our own personal experiences to help you make the next chapter of your life the best chapter.

It’s always interesting to me what happens to my clients after divorce, how I see them basically become a different person. I’ll run into them a year later and things change for them. Whether they wanted the divorce or they didn’t want the divorce, they’re forced into basically reinventing themself because of the divorce.

But what if you reinvented yourself with purpose, on purpose, with goals, and really thinking about what that reinvention of yourself looks like? And this happens not just, of course, after. An event that forces you into reinventing yourself can happen at any time. So recently I ran into a client and she was telling me that she is in a completely different place, that she’s like a completely different person today than she was in her marriage.

But what I found most interesting was she mentioned that she didn’t see it coming. In other words, she didn’t realize how she was changing while it was happening. She explained that now years after the divorce, she sees it, but that she didn’t see it during her reinvention. And it got me thinking, you will, we all will change after divorce.

I mean, you are forced into single life. You’re forced into a maybe a new home, new financial circumstances, a single parent, on and on. And on. So if you are changing, what would that look like if you changed or reinvented yourself on purpose? I mean, if you’re going to change anyhow after divorce, imagine how much better, more powerful that could be if you did it from a.

Purpose and with intention, how much more rewarding, empowering, better could that be for you? Some change because they have to, and I see that all the time and others. Seem to use the divorce to fuel them, to throw away the old, to not have a victim mentality and to instead use that energy, the divorce on purpose to get most out of, but probably was a bad situation.

Personally, I love reinventing myself. I mean, I’ve reinvented myself. Times throughout my life and just because I went to school for seven years and became a lawyer, and I’ve been practicing law in marital and family law for well over 25 years, I don’t consider myself stuck. In a box of having to be a lawyer.

I mean, I became a life coach in 2018 cuz I wanted to reinvent myself. I wanted to create something different for my future, a different version of me. And I have many plans of reinventing myself in the future. It fuels me. Excites me. It keeps me focused and optimistic. I want that feeling for you. Also, after your divorce or at any time, I want you to be excited about this opportunity to reinvent yourself, to figure out what you want, why you want it, and to go for it.

You know, I woke up the other day, I was talking to my husband. And I was like, listen, I think I understand it. And he is like, what are you talking about? He’s like, what is going on? I said, you know, we feel confident in our skillsets, in our careers. Me as a family lawyer and a business owner and a life coach, and you involved in real estate and also as a life coach.

And he was like, yeah. And so, and I said, we have to go for it at a. Level. We can’t just stay in our, okay, this is great comfort zone. This is not a dress rehearsal in our life. We have to push the envelope. We have to spend the money. We have to create the new business, the new plans, the new programs for you and life coaching that I wanna plan.

We have to go for it because you are not gonna have a second. You know, people sometimes say, but if my life is going well, why change it? Why can’t I just be okay with the way it is? And I say, no way, Jose. Because I want to be the best version of myself, and I’m sure you want to be the best version of yourself to think about when I’m reinventing myself, the things that I like about myself, the things I like that are going on, and to push them further to think about the things that I.

Necessarily like about myself and to change those as well, to always be creating a better version of myself. Many people think about improving what they already have, the circumstance they are dealt with, not evolving. To the next possibility of their life when you reinvent yourself after divorce. The divorce is just the circumstance.

But what if you could take that circumstance and reach, hire my friend? What I want to encourage you to do is to reach deeper, look for more, go past what your circumstances today. Can I expand and get out of this box that I’m in? Can I reach for more as I did myself by becoming a life coach, starting a podcast?

And all these other plans that I have for the future. When you reinvent yourself, you’re not looking at limitations. You are looking, my friend at possibilities. I want you to think about it as you have a blank piece of paper, nothing’s on it. What would you write on it to be, to want to achieve, to have to go for if there were.

Limitations permitted. Use your brain to design, create, invent something new just for you. You know the issue is so many of you are having a good life now. You’re healing, you have nothing really to complain about. You’re doing okay. You’re headed in the right direction, you’re getting better, and when you’re okay.

When things are good, it’s very challenging for some of you to let go of. Okay. And what is working to go for the next level to let go of your current success, your current okayness. To achieve greatness. Think about that. If you have a really, really good job and you are making good money, why would you leave?

Why would you wanna change that? Because you want something different. Because my friend, that’s what it takes. To go from good or okay to greatness. I tell my girls who are now in college, when you think, well, one’s outta college, but when you think about your careers, research the possibilities. Do you want a career that has.

A limit on it as to how far you can go and how much you can make, and the ladder that you can climb. Or do you wanna think about a career that has endless possibilities of what you can achieve? Do the research. Understand that now, before you start down that path. But for you, my friend, whatever career you’re in, wherever you’ve landed after your divorce, whether you’re doing okay or not.

What is your greatness? What do you want? Are you willing to take the chance for greatness to leave what feels comfortable today and go for it? Now? The next issue is that our human brain doesn’t like change. I’ve talked about this before. It’s designed to keep you safe for survival, to protect you, and it will try to convince.

All which ways that this is a very bad idea, that you need to stay in the cave where it’s nice and safe with what you know, and never go for something different that is just not safe out there. But your prefrontal cortex is where all your power lies. It knows better than that. It knows. Order for you to have greatness, you’re going to have to move from being okay from being safe to trying something different to going for it.

This is why most people change only when something tragic happens, when they’re threatened. Somehow when they’re survival, their comfort zone is threatened, like divorce. So my friend, I encourage you to take this opportunity of divorce to be aware of where you are, that you can go further, that you have a decision.

To make that you have the right to decide that you want more. So many teachings out there tell you things like don’t want for more except what you have. Be in the present. Don’t stress yourself out. Take it easy, but be honest. Are you longing for something more? Do you have an urge, a desire? Something to create, to evolve something that you want, something that deep down inside is telling you to try something new, to go for it.

Everything around us, all the comforts that we have as I sit and do this episode with you, the electricity, the lights, my computer, the microphone, the. Phone, the internet. This was all started because somebody had a dream, somebody took a chance, somebody decided to leave an okay situation to create.

Something amazing. If we all stay nice and safe in the okay in the cave, then we would never enjoy all of the amazing things that we have all around us day in and day out. To reinvent yourself to your amazingness, it requires you to believe. To believe in something that you do not yet know. And because you don’t yet know it, you don’t know how likely to believe it, to imagine it.

How do you mentally get there? You have to push yourself. You have to push your brain to believe it before it is a reality. Super hard when you’re comfortable and okay where you are. So my friend, I ask you if you were to start. Over today at the age you are currently, what would you do? How would you re decide your life?

How would you find your amazingness? You have to understand and realize your brain’s ability to get there, your ability to dream, to imagine, to believe, to understand that you have the power to access that you can do hard things by leaving. Your comfort zone to get to greatness. Most people in life don’t do that.

They sadly live their entire life accepting where they are. I want you to question that my friend. Question it today. Sit down, have a blank piece of paper. Reinvent your life. What does it look like? So many of you, if you’re listening, you have to be honest with yourself. You’re tired of the rinse and repeat the old habit.

You are longing. I know you are for something new. So decide what your reinvention looks like. What do you. What isn’t working, what needs to change? And then have the courage to let go. Believe in the new version of you, the new possibilities, and watch yourself change. All right, my friends, go out, make changes.

Start today. Start this moment, and until next time, have an amazing week. Love yourself. Be kind and I’ll speak to you.

You have the vision of what you want your life to look like after divorce, but maybe you just don’t know how to get there. So if you’re ready to take control of your life and want to find out more about our coaching, visit us at l a d coaching.com. That’s l a d as in life after divorce. coaching.com.

Until next time, have an amazing rest of your day. And remember, yes, you can have an amazing life after after divorce.