Ep. 72 – No Whining on the Yacht

Doreen: Hey, my beautiful friends and how are you? Hope you’re doing okay. I know that going through divorce is challenging, but I also know that you can get past this and you can do hard things. So we’re gonna talk today about something. I’m laughing because the way in which we figure out our topics is kind of interesting, but this topic is called No whining on the Yacht and we’re gonna explain what that means, especially after divorce. So if you are ready, let’s get started.

Are you ready to create a life that’s better than ever before? We are Doreen Yaffa and Jeff Wilson, and we are here to give you the strategies you need to create the life after divorce that you deserve and desire. As partners both in marriage and coaching, we use our expertise as well as our own personal experiences to help you make the next chapter of your life the best chapter.

Hey Jeff.

Jeff: Hey!

Doreen: How are ya?

Jeff: I’m doing great. I just had my cup of coffee and I’m super excited.

Doreen: All right. Well, I love the name of this podcast.

Jeff: No Whining on the Yacht.

Doreen: Oh my gosh. It’s just really think about that, what that means. Let’s tell the listeners how we came to this name today.

Jeff: Well, I don’t even remember who it was, but somebody told me. My favorite saying is No whining on the yacht, and I’m thinking, you know? Yeah. Really, when you’re sitting there on a yacht cruising the ocean is beautiful out and you’re complaining. Right. It just doesn’t make sense.

Doreen: No, it doesn’t. It’s really about appreciating what you have and not always looking at the negative of things as well. Right?

Jeff: Exactly. Which we tend to do. And so when I heard that, I was like, oh, we have to share this with the listeners.

Doreen: Well, so many of us are in circumstances where we really have a lot to be grateful for. And, you know, during and after divorce, it’s hard to focus in on the positive, right? So the no whining on the yacht expression kind of tells us, like, look at the good things in your life and be appreciative of that because, I promise you that someone else has it a lot worse than you do.

Jeff: True, true. And it may be, it may seem difficult when you’re going through a divorce or you’re after a divorce, but when you, some of the tips that we’re gonna give you today on, you know, surrounding yourself with people and doing, not going alone, it’s not as difficult as it might seem.

Doreen: Yeah, it’s a mindset. I remember talking about, no whining on the yacht. I remember when I was going through college, I was at Florida Atlantic University. And I was a working student. So I was working at Sax fifth Avenue and part-time, and there was a gentleman that came in and he was complaining about something, about the service he got and he was really going off.

And there was, there were like three or four people around and I was kind of just observing it. Someone else was handling the actual conversation and he’s standing there, he got all these packages and he is complaining about something I don’t even remember, and I just thought, you know, as a struggling student who was trying to make ends meet financially, and this guy obviously had dollars, had money, and was shopping.

He’s complaining about something like, I don’t know, something was late and being delivered or whatever it was. I thought, my gosh, put that into perspective, right? Like, put it into perspective, it’s really not such a big deal that you are complaining so much about this, right?

Jeff: Yeah. Well there was a couple of times I had to say to myself that we were on the boat the other day and we were trying to dock up at deck 84 and there was no space available.

And here we are all upset that there’s no space to dock. Well, here we are in our boat, in the beautiful, you know, in Intercoastal. And we’re complaining.

Doreen: I know.

Jeff: You know, we have to kind of do a checkup from the neck and kind of, you know, practice what we preach.

Doreen: Right? Yeah. So let’s talk about that. Let’s talk about no whining on the yacht and how that relates to people. Who are going through and post-divorce.

Jeff: Okay, I’m ready.

Doreen: All right. Well, where do you wanna start, my dear?

Jeff: Well, let’s talk about, you know, complaining, you know? Okay. That’s a good start there. I guess. You know, a lot of people complain about people’s complaining. You know, they don’t realize that they’re complaining when they’re talking about other people complaining.

Doreen: Well, let’s talk about the definition of complaining.

Jeff: Okay?

Doreen: So we looked it up and the Google says that the definition of complaining is to express grief, pain, or discontent. And what do you think about that?

Jeff: Well, I think it’s lacking.

Doreen: Why?

Jeff: Because there’s a piece of it that’s missing.

Doreen: Which is?

Jeff: Well, it should be, let’s add, without doing anything about it. Right. You know, so, you know, if you’re complaining about something and not taking action to change it, then that’s the definition of complaining.

Doreen: That’s true.

Jeff: So really what it is. It’s almost like a call to action.

Doreen: Right. If you’re complaining about something, it’s probably a good time for you to examine why you’re complaining about it, and if you really should be complaining about it. And also to realize that out of most things bad comes something good, right?

There’s two sides to it. Right? So when people are going through divorce, they could be complaining, you know, about breaking up the family or having to share custody with the children, or maybe a lack of finances or having to move, but some of the positive things about going through divorce, you know, in other words, getting divorced could be what?

Jeff: Not having to listen to his snoring anymore.

Doreen: Right. Or not having to ask permission to do something.

Jeff: Yeah. I think it’s mainly focusing on your new future life versus your past life.

Doreen: Right. And that’s very true. But you know, and when you think about being grateful for things, as the other side of the coin of complaining, right?

So you have, you have a coin and there’s the complaining side, and then there’s the, but what’s the good side? You know, there’s two sides to the coin.

Jeff: It’s a good way to look at it.

Doreen: Well, and it could be something very small. A lot of times, I think when people think about gratitude, and we’re gonna talk about that today and how it makes you feel and how to maybe give you some tips on that.

To put you in a better frame of mind. But you know, being grateful for things doesn’t have to be huge. You can be grateful for things like waking up that morning or a really good cup of coffee or maybe you had a great night, you know, sleep right, or you just had a really good meal. I mean, there’s so many things that we can be grateful for that we just never take the time to really think about. We’re all in such a rush rush all the time.

Jeff: And it’s almost like an exercise in a habits. So if you focus on the little things first, I think it’ll be a little bit easier to focus on things in the future. You know what I mean?

Doreen: Well, yeah. It’s like this morning when we woke up we live in Florida, what is known as the marsh. So, you know, we’re lucky in the sense that our boat is behind our house and we’re on the marsh. So when we open up the windows in the morning and the drapes, you know, we are looking at the marsh and we have these things currently they migrate down in Florida to Florida. In the wintertime they’re called Turkey hawks.

Jeff: Turkey hawks. Yes.

Doreen: They’re not the prettiest of birds. Right. They kind of look like a…

Jeff: Flying Turkey?

Doreen: No, . . It doesn’t look like a flying, it like a buzzer.

Jeff: They have little thing on their necks and they look, yeah, they look like buzzards, but they have those little thing on their necks that look like turkeys. But they call ’em a Turkey hawk for something.

Doreen: Well, they call ’em a Turkey hawk cuz they have that red and it kind of looks like a turkey’s, you know, face or head or whatever. Right. But we were looking at them because they come here and I thought, how beautiful nature is, even though like, it’s not the prettiest of birds, right?

I mean, it’s huge too. Like it’s huge, right? And we see these things and they’re on the top of, you know, the trees in the marsh, but I thought, you know, it’s really not a pretty bird. But on the other hand, you know, it’s beautiful when it flies like, you know what I’m saying?

Jeff: Like it’s very graceful.

Doreen: Wings are out and it’s flying. It’s very pretty to watch. Almost soothing. But when it’s sitting there on the tree, not so much.

Jeff: Not so much . Well, I was, I think I was more grateful about the cup of coffee that you brought me.

Doreen: Oh, okay. How was it?

Jeff: It was pretty good. Oh, okay. It was pretty good. And then, you know, and what did you say at least who weren’t born to be a Turkey hawk. And remember my response.

Doreen: What?

Jeff: Well, we’re not also born the animal that the Turkey hawk eats.

Doreen: That’s true, that’s true.

Jeff: So, you know, I had to counter that with a little bit of positive.

Doreen: All right. Well, let’s talk about, you know, the entire goal of this is to move from complaining to taking action.

Right. Really is what we’re trying to suggest. You know, one action we can take is to focus on what we have and be grateful. You were doing some research, and I think you did some research from Harvard Medical School shows that gratitude is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness.

Jeff: Yes, joy improved health, dealing with adversity better and of course building strong relationships. You know, gratitude is a main factor in the joy in your life.

Doreen: Well, it’s what they’re saying, right? When you practice gratitude and appreciating the things that are good, that you will feel more joy in your life.

This is what the Harvard Research Medical School research showed. And you know, there’s a lot of studies on this. The issue is that, I think the issue is most of us are like on automatic pilot, right? Most of us wake up and we’ve got our day to do whatever we have to do, and we don’t take the time.

Well, we don’t take the time to think about and to be grateful for the things that we should be grateful for. So getting into that habit of even just waking up in the morning and just spending five minutes, or even just two minutes, just to write down maybe five things that you’re grateful for. But again, it doesn’t have to be huge things. Can really change the whole perspective of the day.

Jeff: Absolutely.

Doreen: Right. And the momentum of how your day’s gonna look.

Jeff: Absolutely. And I think it’s also thinking about what you want to think about. So you have to kind of really, really train your brain to focus in on what thoughts you really want.

Doreen: Yeah. Which is not easy, you know.

Jeff: Which definitely not easy.

Doreen: You know, our clients that we coach, my clients that I, you know, am representing them in divorces. It’s a tough time. We get that, you know, we’ve been through our own divorce. I’ve been, you know, helping people legally through divorce for over 25 years.

I see the pain that people go through and I felt the pain and I get it. And that’s not something when you’re appreciating gratitude, when you’re being appreciative of the good things, you’re not trying to dismiss the pain, the pain still exists. You’re not trying to go from the hurt. Let’s just say the loneliness and the sadness and the anger from divorce.

You’re not trying to just eliminate those feelings, right, with replacing it with happy thoughts. That’s just not gonna work. But you can say, even though I’m angry, or even though I’m sad about the divorce, here’s some good things about it. Or here’s some good things in my life right now. Just something to think about, right?

To try to train our brains always wanna go to protecting itself. To protecting you as a human. And the primitive brain will focus on negative because it’s trying to get you away from negative. It’s, that’s what it does, right? So you really have to try kind of get into that habit. So let’s give, what do you wanna do? I thought you came up with 6 ways to practice gratitude after divorce?

Jeff: Yeah, it’s more like five and a half but we’ll call ’em six.

Doreen: Really? Why five and a half?

Jeff: Well, cause we’ve already talked about number one.

Doreen: Yeah, I know, I know. But let’s go through them. So what’s the first one?

Jeff: Well, it’s, what’s wrong with life and what’s right with life? I mean, you can focus in on the bad, or you can focus in on what’s good, you know? The main thing that I think you should do when you’re going through a situation like divorce is seek help and find support, whether it’s joining a support group, getting a coach and being around people that are going through the same thing you’re going through.

Doreen: Right. So the first thing we’re talking about is getting support, but also there’s another part of that, right? The other tip is to give, give back. Giving back feels good, right? So, when you feel that you can be a support to someone else, like being involved in a divorce support group is important maybe for you because you’re getting the support, but you’re also gonna be giving support, talking about your experiences and all that. Is important. I’ll do number two.

Jeff: All right, go for it.

Doreen: Number two is count your blessings. You know, can’t we all be reminded of this? This is what we’re talking about.

Jeff: All the time.

Doreen: And we just mentioned it. It can be as simple as making a list of things that you are thankful for. Like I said, you know, your kids, your career, your health, a good cup of coffee.

So, trying to focus on those good things and maybe even placing a few of the things that you are grateful for up, like on your mirror in your bathroom, where you can see it and just be reminded, you know, I like to put little sticky notes, little post-its all over and I can, you know, when I’m like, not in a good place mentally, I’ll just say like, you know, things aren’t that bad or be thankful for this, or whatever it is, and I’ll just like post them up. You’ll come into my office sometime and you’re like, what are all these post-its? Right?

Jeff: Right. And also I love books that of quotes. So you can find a, a book on positive quotes or gratitude quotes and post those, we call ’em positive affirmations. And every day have a little bit of a positive affirmation and say it make right on your mirror when you wake up. Repeat the positive affirmation five times out loud and it starts to take effect on you.

Doreen: That’s true. And there’s also calendars where you know, I know people usually don’t use paper calendars, but remember those little, they were like blocks and they would have the day. Yes. And then it would be like a positive affirmation. Right?

Jeff: Oh, I remember ’em.

Doreen: Those are great. Those are great. All right, well, why don’t you take number three?

Jeff: Okay. Well, you have to be honest about the good and the bad. Meaning handling difficult life experiences such as divorce but through gratefulness is a perspective. Doesn’t mean you have to deny that you’re going through a tough time.

Doreen: Yeah, that’s what we had just said, right? I know.

Jeff: Yeah. So it’s very important that they know that, you know, you’re going to have tough times and as long as you know, you’re seeing in you even the smallest things out of the bad stuff can really help you.

Doreen: Yeah. Kind of like the smallest threads of beauty that are woven into suffering.

Jeff: Ooh, that was, say that again. That was beautiful.

Doreen: Well, the smallest threads of beauty that are woven into suffering.

Jeff: Right. And, and you know, the other thing is divorce doesn’t have to be as difficult as we make it.

Doreen: Well, right. Meaning your mindset.

Jeff: Your mindset. I think sometimes we not dwell in it. Not dwell in it or blow it out our proportion because it is a difficult time. But I think that if we focus on the positive more than the negative, it doesn’t have to be as difficult as we make it.

Doreen: Right. The next one I wanna talk about, and I touched on a lot of these already, is number four, is acts of kindness. One of the best ways that I find to give yourself a boost is by giving to someone else. I reached out to a friend this morning who actually we were supposed to go out with her and her husband last night on the boat. We do this thing where we get in the boat at night and where we live on the Intercoastal in Florida, people decorate the back of their homes.

So when you’re on your boat, you can see all the decorations and you can see usually the inside of the house. You know, if they have their tree up or they have their manure up or whatever it is. So we were supposed to go last night and she had a migraine, so we couldn’t go, you know, I just reached out to her this morning to tell her, you know, or ask her how she was feeling. Ask her if there’s anything I can do for her and tell her I was thinking about her. I think just doing a small act of kindness for somebody is a way of feeling so much better and there’s so many people that need help. Even if it’s just a reach out, there’s food banks that you can go to.

There’s homeless shelters. My daughter Samantha, is fostering pets that you could foster a pet. I mean, how many pets need good homes, even if you can’t keep the pet, but foster a pet? I mean there’s, you know, there’s so many things we can do to help other people. We have a neighbor next door and she just battled an illness and just little acts that you do of taking out her trash. You know, when, when it’s trash day, there’s so much we can do and it really, really does make you feel better inside.

Jeff: Yeah. And the neighbor next door also was having an issue changing a light bulb. So I went over and I changed the light bulb, which took me probably 30 seconds. And you could see the joy in her face that she could now have light in her house.

Doreen: Well, or just the right. And the reason that she asked you that is because like when we go to the grocery store, many times we’ll text her and say, Hey, is there anything you need? Right. You know, it’s just when you do something for somebody else, and I really mean someone else, like doing acts of kindness for your children is expected, anticipated your good parents, but doing something and reaching out for somebody else, it just focus that focuses your energy on that as opposed to your problems. Right?

Jeff: Yeah. I find it to be a little selfish.

Doreen: What do you mean?

Jeff: Well, it makes me feel so, so good. Yeah. Doing it that I’m not doing it for myself, but I guess subconsciously it makes me feel so good that I’m helping somebody else. I’m doing it for me as well.

Doreen: Right, true.

Jeff: Which is, I guess that’s the point we’re trying to make.

Doreen: Yeah. What’s the next one?

Jeff: You want to live life to the fullest, right? I mean get out there. There may have been some hobbies that you wanted to get into, some past times.

Doreen: I think what you mean by that is living life to the fullest just trying something new.

Jeff: Yes.

Doreen: So number five?

Jeff: I was getting there.

Doreen: I wanna clarify is like living life to the fullest, but let’s just call it trying something new.

Jeff: Yeah. I was talk, talking about a new hobby or a habit, not a habit, but a hobby you wanted to get into. Maybe a new sport you want to try, maybe get out there and do some traveling.

Doreen: Yeah. It’s really important that you expand yourself if you can. You know, when you’re married, you have two people at least to contemplate and to consider and to many times agree on what you’re gonna do. Right? Right. But you’re single again. Right. And so guess what? Okay. That comes with it too. Yeah. Well, trying something new might be going on a date.

Jeff: There you go.

Doreen: Right? I mean, certainly that after divorce, that would be something that’s new.

Jeff: Absolutely

Doreen: Right. But it is really time to explore who you are and what you like and do some things they haven’t done before. Why not? I’ll take number six.

Jeff: Go ahead.

Doreen: Which is, again, this is reiterating what we already said, number six, which is really the most important thing about today. No whining on the yacht.

Jeff: No whining on the yacht.

Doreen: Which means practice gratitude. Brene Brown is a writer and she has a book, and I love her books. If anyone’s looking for a good read, certainly one of the originals when it comes to coaching and life coaching and a lot of our practices stem from her teachings. Yeah, she’s great.

Jeff: I would also check out her videos because she has such a great presence on stage. That’s where I first saw her, not her books, but saw her on video and she’s awesome on stage.

Doreen: She’s like the original deal. Yeah. You know what I’m saying? And like she’s just, it comes so natural for her. But she writes in her book The Gifts of Imperfection, that without exception, every person who described living a joyful life, actively practiced gratitude. She suggests that we are a nation hungry for more joy because we are starving from a lack of gratitude.

She even goes on to say that if we are not practicing gratitude and allowing ourselves to know joy, we’re missing out on the two things that will actually sustain us during the inevitable hard times. So practicing gratitude, what she’s suggesting is that if you do that, it’ll make the hard times when they come and they will come

Jeff: They will come.

Doreen: They will come. Remember, life is a balance of 50 50, meaning that you know things will be good one day and you’ll have an awesome day, and then something happens, like you get into a car accident or someone you love gets hurt or you get sick or someone you love gets sick, things happen. So she’s saying that if you practice gratitude on a regular basis, it helps that. It helps those blows.

Jeff: It does, it does.

Doreen: You know, because gratitude really is just, it’s more than just a feeling. It’s also the act of acknowledgement and the acknowledgement is the blessing that we have received in our lives. Right? You gotta work on that. So I think that’s an important one.

Jeff: Yeah. You may be surprised how many, how much thankfulness and gratitude your heart can hold.

Doreen: It’s true, right? You know, instead begin your practice. I suggest whether you begin your practice again by noticing those small little day-to-day pleasures.

Jeff: The cup of coffee.

Doreen: The cup of coffee, right? Or what, or a great meal, whatever it is. Just, it doesn’t have to be a huge thing. It can be walking outside and looking at, I know a lot of people right now, for example, we’re not dealing with this, are suffering through there’s a winter storm that’s going through the nation right now. And it’s pretty bad from what we see on tv. Right. And I, yeah, walking outside into that coldness and all that white and like freezing temperatures, that’s the negative side of it. But the beauty of it. Can be that beauty of the white all over, you know, enjoying the holiday and the snow that comes with that. We don’t get that here. So, you know, maybe I’m a little more grateful of seeing that than others.

Jeff: Well, the sure looks good on a holiday card.

Doreen: It does, doesn’t it?

Jeff: Yeah. Well, you know what? I had an example yesterday of joy. I pulled into the office the real estate office, and there was one parking space available.

Doreen: Ooh. And you got it.

Jeff: It was mine and it was something that doesn’t happen often, but I tell you, it happened in yesterday to me, and it was just put that 3-4 seconds smile on my face and woo-hoo. Okay. I have a spot.

Doreen: Yes. So like, just be, I wanna also talk about children because a lot of you have children out there. And teaching children gratitude from a young age is important. We used to do something at the dinner table. All of our kids are out of the house now. Huh? They’re 25. No, 25, 22 is your son. And then I have a daughter who’s 22 and another daughter who’s 20. So I’ve got the three girls, 20, 22, and 25. And you have the stepson Spencer, who just celebrated 22.

So they’re not, you know, home with us. But when they were with us and when life didn’t get too crazy, I’m sure a lot of the listeners can appreciate, kids are active nowadays and so like after school activities sometimes take over family dinners and things, but when you can have family dinners, we used to do, well, first of all, we used to pass around the talking stick. Right. Remember that?

Jeff: I remember that.

Doreen: It was kind of like a stick that had feathers on the end. We would pass it around just to kind of get the kids’ attention when they were younger, that we were gonna have this conversation. So we would pass around the stick and we would say, what is the best thing that happened to you today?

Jeff: And you also asked?

Doreen: What is the worst thing?

Jeff: Why’d you ask both?

Doreen: Because life is a balance of both, and I wanted them to understand and appreciate that in spite of the bad thing that happened. We usually started with the bad thing. There was also a good thing that happened that day, right? I thought it was nice.

Jeff: And I was like watching their face when they said the bad thing and then they said the good thing you could definitely see their face light up when they were talking about what good happened to them.

Doreen: That’s so true. It’s, you know, it’s such a habit that you, it’s such a great habit that you can really start to instill in your children and even though they may not continue to practice it on a daily basis, which we suggest you do, again, less than five minutes, really, that’s all it takes.

It’s amazing how when they get older, cuz our kids being older, that they, these things do stick with them. You know, like, you’ll hear little things from one of my girls and it’ll be like, oh! So it did pay off. So what else?

Jeff: Well let’s talk a little bit about your life after divorce. What positive things could you find from that?

Doreen: Are you asking me?

Jeff: Yeah,

Doreen: Well I met you.

Jeff: Oh, okay. Well that, you know, that’s. Okay.

Doreen: Well, I mean, if I never got divorced, I wouldn’t have met the love of my life.

Jeff: Aw. I think I just got a cavity. It’s so sweet.

Doreen:  I’m very appreciative. I’m very, I have a lot of gratitude in my life for having two amazing men in my life who stick with me. My ex-husband, who is probably one of the most amazing fathers out there, like scale one to 10, he’s there. And then I have you who is an amazing husband loving, sweet, kind, patient, and we just jive that way. So I feel a lot of gratitude that I have two of the best people you know, for my children and for me.  So, I’m grateful about that.

Jeff: Well, now, well, since you’re so deep right now, what I’m gonna also add is that you can also be a little bit positive about trying to learn from the mistakes that you made during your previous marriage so that you don’t avoid them. I mean, so you avoid them in the future, right?

So it could be a learning experience. So it could be from the smallest things that, you know, you’re not putting up with a snoring anymore, to getting even a little bit deeper into doing a little bit of a learning about yourself.

Doreen: Well, and also, you know, you can be grateful that maybe there’s less conflict in your life.

Jeff: Absolutely.

Doreen: Where you get to decorate the house the way you want. You get to watch what you want on tv. You get to get past all that negative conflict I said, you know.

Jeff: Or even if you’re a man, you, hey, you get to learn to cook.

Doreen: That’s a good thing too, right? That’s a good thing too. So, yeah.

Jeff: I think what we’re just doing is just looking for anything positive that you can find. And if you look hard enough, you will find it. It’s kind of like the, you know, the gold theory?

Doreen: The gold? No.

Jeff: Well, when they start digging for dirt, looking for gold, they have to dig through a ton of dirt to find a little bit of gold. Right. Are they looking for the dirt? No, they’re looking for the gold, right?

But sometimes they have to dig through a lot of dirt. So it’s the same thing in our lives. Sometimes we have a lot of negativity to deal with and if we look hard enough and do not give up, we will always find that positive.

Doreen: Yeah, I think that being careful not to use this time after, during divorce to rehash your negative feelings towards your former spouse. Instead, focus your thoughts and attention on the positive and your new life that you’re gonna create. You know, I was just thinking something came to mind. I’ve had, I’m gonna say quite a few times, I’ve had clients come to me after the divorce and the dust had settled, let’s just say a year later, and they were, I had one lady recently say to me, he did me the best favor by asking me for divorce, and I was like, what are you talking about? She’s like, I want to thank him. I literally wanna send my ex a thank you note.

Jeff: And hopefully they did.

Doreen: Well,  I kind of suggested it wasn’t a good thing to do because it could be taken as kind of like, you know,

Jeff: Sarcastic

Doreen: Very sarcastic. But I suggest live in that thankfulness, right?

Jeff: But I do think we should express our gratitude to others.

Doreen: What do you mean?

Jeff: Well, I think that when we share with others that we’re thankful to them and thankful for what, you know, the people that are around us, maybe our coworkers, our friends, or your wife or, or thank your children for being such great kids.

Yeah. You know, there’s a saying, not a saying, but William Ward wrote one’s feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.

Doreen: Yeah, it’s true. How many times do we not thank people for things that we’re grateful for, that they’ve done for us?

Jeff: Yeah, absolutely.

Doreen: So I think everybody today should go out and make it your mission today to thank one person for some kindness that they’ve done for you, something you’re grateful for.

I’m sure going through divorce, you know, you kind of learn who your friends are. And sometimes you end up coming out of the divorce and having to restructure your whole friendship group, okay? But I’m sure that through your divorce, there’s someone in your life that really just went the extra mile, whether it’s your mom or a friend or coworker, even a neighbor.

So today, how about we each go out into the world and thank one person. Think about how that’s gonna make you feel and how it’s gonna make them feel. Yeah. And we’re in the middle of the holidays, right? What a better time. It’s called Karma, right? It’s called Good Vibes. Or it could be called a Mitzvah.

Jeff: Mitzvah.

Doreen: A mitzvah is a blessing for doing something good for someone else. So maybe put that on for size today. All right guys. Well, I’m gonna thank you for doing the podcast with me.

Jeff: Well, I’m gonna thank you for being such an amazing wife, taking care of me and loving me.

Doreen: Aw, so sweet. Love you too, sweetie. All right. Well listen, guys, have and girls have an amazing, amazing day. Be grateful. Reach out to one person. Love yourself. Be kindhearted, and remember, yes, you can have an amazing life after divorce. Absolutely you can. All right.

Jeff: Thank you for listening.

Doreen: We’ll talk to you next week. Bye.

Jeff: Bye everybody. You have the vision of what you want your life to look like after divorce, but maybe you just don’t know how to get there. So if you’re ready to take control of your life and want to find out more about our coaching, visit us at lad-coaching.com. That’s L A D as in life after divorce dash coaching.com.

Doreen: Until next time, have an amazing rest of your day. And remember, yes, you can have an amazing life after divorce.