Ep. 83 – Exercise Can Help

Doreen: Hey, my beautiful friends, and how are you? All right, today, we’re gonna talk about exercise during and after divorce, and really at any time, and how powerful exercise can be to change your mental state, physically help you in so many ways and more. So if you are ready. Let’s get started.

Are you ready to create a life that’s better than ever before? We are Doreen Yaffa and Jeff Wilson, and we are here to give you the strategies you need to create the life after divorce that you deserve and desire. As partners both in marriage and coaching, we use our expertise as well as our own personal experiences to help you make the next chapter of your life the best chapter.

Hey Jeff. How are you?

Jeff: Good morning. How are you doing today?

Doreen: I’m doing great.

Jeff: Might not be as beautiful as ever.

Doreen: Well, you’re so sweet. I got a cavity. Oh, let’s see what’s going on in our life.

Jeff: What’s going on?

Doreen: I don’t know. What’s going on with you?

Jeff: Just puppy love.

Doreen: Yes. Our little baby, our new baby Zen, who I happen to call Zen. Zen. I don’t know why I always do this, like double, double name thing. But he is what, about 15 weeks now?

Jeff: Yeah, something like that. Four months.

Doreen: He’s a what they call blue Frenchy, and we’re in puppy love. Isn’t that sweet?

Jeff: You know, I’m also excited not to change the subject, but I’m so excited about what’s going on with Megan in Argentina.

Doreen: Yeah, yeah.

Jeff: Some of the, the photographs that she sent us,

Doreen: It’s amazing when you get into new cultures and you’re able to appreciate other ways of living.

She was telling me that when she strolls down the streets in Bueno Aires so far, she’s already noticed that people are not on their phone so much. You know how, I mean, like, just look around us. I mean, people are on their phones all the time, and I’m not judging that. Whatever you wanna do with your life, obviously if you wanna be on the phone or not on the phone, whatever it is, it is.

But she was,  I asked her, I said what have you noticed walking around the city? And that was one of the first things she told me was that people are not on the phone so much and that they engage with you. She also mentioned that when people see each other on the street, they actually stop embrace each other.

Like, you know, their custom mate is to kiss Hello and to have a conversation or looking at each other.

Jeff: They better not be kissing Megan.

Doreen: Not Megan.

Jeff: Oh, okay.

Jeff: Megan has a boyfriend, so, oh, I know, a shout out to him too. Anyhow. Um, so today, like we always get inspired as, you know, by things going on in our life and, and I don’t know. Stuff like that.

So today, Jeff got to choose a subject and what’s the subject today?

Jeff: Physical fitness exercise and how it affects your, your brain and your, your mindset after divorce.

Doreen: Yeah. And anytime.

Jeff: Yeah, anytime, actually. But you know, that’s our topic.

Doreen: And I think that’s one of the things that’s so beautiful about what we’re sharing with you on our podcast is that even though we’re specifically coaching people during and after divorce, What we’re teaching here, what we’re bringing to your attention can be used anytime.

They really are a crossover type of thought process. So let’s talk about exercise.

Jeff: All right.

Doreen: I did mine this morning.

Jeff: You did?

Doreen: But I’m not done.

Jeff: I know. I have to do mine after work today.

Doreen: We started reading the what is it? Morning Miracle again.

Jeff: Morning Miracle.

Doreen: I read that book years ago and I picked it up again.

I got the one specifically for entrepreneurs and I bought you the one because you also do real estate, and it was, it’s really great. And one of the things that they talk about is to put that morning exercise in. Now I like to get on the Peloton, you know, I just enjoy that. So what they teach is to exercise, to get your body moving, to get your mind flowing.

And even though I’m gonna go to the gym tonight and do some weight training, cuz I’m trying to do more weight training, I got my 20 minutes in on my Peloton and it does change things. It really does. It just makes you feel better.

Jeff: Well I think we’re gonna do a whole episode on the Morning Miracle, cuz it’s just such a great subject, and it’s so important to start your day off the right way.

Doreen: Ah, you just made a commitment. All right, well after you finish the book, And I finished mine again. Maybe we’ll, uh, we’ll turn around and do that.

Jeff: Yeah. And you know, you said, you know, Morning Miracle for Entrepreneurs Morning Miracle for Real Estate Agents, you can actually fill in the blank. The Morning Miracle was kind of the same for everybody. It’s really special.

Doreen: Yeah, it is. It is. So we’ll talk more about that.

Jeff: Yes.

Doreen: But let’s talk about exercise today.

Jeff: Yes

Doreen: Let’s talk about that. You know, divorce is, an experience that can be very, very traumatic. It’s emotional, and it can be physically draining as well, and we all know that, so one of the things that we wanna encourage you to do is to exercise because it can be so healing on so many levels, and it’s obviously physically good for you, it’s good for your body, it’s good for your heart, which is part of your body, it’s good for your mind. And so some of the benefits we wanna just share with you about exercise and divorce.

And you know, the first thing I wanna talk about is, you know, after divorce or during divorce, sometimes you feel super isolated and you’re trying to rebuild your relationships, your social network. Maybe you don’t feel like getting out much, or maybe you are trying to make new friends. And so exercise can be an amazing social activity, whether you are joining a gym or a sports club, or maybe it’s a group training activity, you know, whatever you like to do, whether it’s Orange Theory or F 45, you’re gonna be with people. You’re gonna be with like-minded people because I’m sure that whatever exercise you might choose to engage in something that you enjoy, cuz you’re gonna think about that, whatever it is.

And so it’s an opportunity to make new friends. It’s an opportunity just to smile at somebody and have you engage with somebody else, you know? So I encourage it because I think that it’s really important to. Have that ability to get to know people and hopefully make new friendships. But if you don’t want to, you can go to the gym and just have your little me time.

You don’t have to engage. So I think that’s amazing.

Jeff: It’s very, very important.

Doreen: What’s the next thing?

Jeff: Well, you know, I love this one because we live in beautiful, sunny South Florida, and the outdoors is just a, an amazing place and it, and it gives, you know, doing physical activity outside, gives you a chance to be one with mother nature.

You know, and it could be, you know, relaxing along the beach, taking a walk on the beach

Doreen: Or the mountains for those that aren’t on the beach. And many of those, well, many of them aren’t.

Jeff: I’m trying to get people to move down here. Honey . No, I’m kidding. Just kidding.

Doreen: No, no, no, no.

Jeff: Stay, you know, and exercising outdoors.

It could be taking a hike in the mountains. I love, we love hiking as well. Get a mountain bike if you like, biking, if you want bike along the beach, but enjoy, you know, slow down and just enjoy the flowers and the smells and the, uh, sun, the mother nature and the sun.

Doreen: And, you know, vitamin D my doctor was telling me is so important.

So you can get that just by being outside for five minutes. She was explaining how it can really increase that vitamin D in your body, which is so important of course, but also makes you feel good. Have you ever, let’s talk about zen in the sun.

Jeff: Oh my gosh, what is wrong with this dog?

Doreen: So we take him outside and he will find a patch of sun and just lay there.

So he already knows the benefits of being outside.

Jeff: Yeah, he’s working on his tan .

Doreen: So cute. The next thing is it releases endorphins. And we all know, or maybe you don’t, but endorphins come in handy in tough times. Endorphins produce during physical activity, stabilize your mind. They help battle depression and they just make you feel overall better.

Jeff:  Yeah. Some people may have heard of the of a Runner’s. High, have you ever heard of that?

Doreen: Yeah, I have.

Jeff: And so that, you know, when they’re exercising to a certain level, they get this certain high and that’s where, where the endorphins come from.

Doreen: They do. But if you’re, even if you’re not a runner, cuz I know for example, you don’t like to run, right?

Jeff: Correct.

Doreen: You can walk at a fast pace, walk at a slow pace, you’re still gonna get those endorphins in. So really, really good for that reason.

Jeff: What’s the next one?

Doreen: Well, this one is, very, very important, especially after divorce or during divorce especially. it could be reducing stress.

You know, when you’re exercising you’re reducing your stress cuz emotions can run high. You could be tense almost to the to a breaking point. You know, you could be taking your emotions out on coworkers, your children and of course your soon-to-be ex or your ex. And venting, can really, really help either with a coach like us.

Doreen: What do you mean venting?

Jeff: Well, you know, letting it all out. Letting it all out.

Doreen: Right. So they taught, so when we were doing the research for this, they talked about punching one of those bags. But I wanna tell the listeners that you are a fourth degree black belt.

Jeff: Yes.

Doreen: And so you, you understand this. So when it comes to punching like a, what do they call? A punching bag?

Jeff: Yeah, A punching bag.

Doreen: Okay. So can reduce stress. We don’t encourage violence. But listen, you can also print out a picture of your ex and put it on the bag. Okay.

Jeff: Great idea. Well, well here, here’s the truth of the matter. When I, when we had the dojo, years ago, and adults would come in with their children to sign them up for martial arts, and I was always talking to them about, what about you?

And they would never even consider, oh, I don’t wanna learn how to protect myself. The benefits of martial arts or even hitting a bag, kicking a bag are not only the stress relief, it’s a great workout, but it also builds your confidence. So if you do, let’s say want to build your confidence and get a good workout in, maybe try the martial arts. It’s a great form of exercise.

Doreen: And one of the things I wanna talk about is finding what exercise is best for you, taking into consideration your physical abilities. For example, I know I’m just gonna share that you’ve had many back surgeries, so probably martial arts at this level. I mean being, if you were to go for your fifth degree, Might not be the best idea for you? I don’t know.

Jeff: Probably not.

Doreen: Okay. So finding something that you enjoy and that your body is capable of doing. So one of the things we wanna also emphasize is before you start any exercise program, obviously you wanna speak with your doctor about what you should and shouldn’t do, and then decide what you wanna do.

I mean, our youngest daughter, Samantha, she is an equestrian. How amazing is. You know, I’ve thought about getting back into that as a form of exercise, but I decided against that for a number of reasons, because of the commitment involved and the expense involved. But, you know, you take your time, there’s so much activity available for you, whether it’s tennis, like I said, horseback riding. It could be just walking. It could be going to the gym. It could be a class. It could be yoga.

Jeff: And it’s not only something that you want to get back into. It could be something that you’ve always wanted to do. You know, like maybe try scuba diving or doing something completely different that you never thought you would be doing.

Doreen: Absolutely, a hundred percent. So the other thing is that, the next thing is that physical activity pushes you to be healthier. Because let me just say like this morning when I worked out and I did my Peloton for 20 minutes.

And then I decided afterwards to have breakfast. I wasn’t going to eat off protocol because I just finished a workout. So it kind of goes hand in hand with living a healthier life because you’re setting your mind up and you’re engaging in that physical activity. You’re probably gonna carry that over into other great habits like eating better, eating healthier, making better choices, maybe sustaining from alcohol or reducing your alcohol intake, those types of things.

So it promotes a much healthier lifestyle in that respect. Plus, if whatever activity you’re doing, you’re gonna be increasing your calories. What do they call it? Burning, burning of calories. So that’s always nice too. Right?

Jeff: Sounds good to me.

Doreen: I think so. So I just burn, like it said, like 150 calories, which you know, is like, I don’t know, I’m trying to think of what that might be one glass of wine.

Jeff: We know those measurements, right?

Doreen: Yeah. Right. So, anyhow, can offset that as well. What’s the next thing?

Jeff: I’m gonna ask you a question.

Doreen: Yeah.

Jeff: What is the heaviest weight in the gym?

Doreen: What is, is this a joke?

Jeff: No.

Doreen: What is the heaviest weight in the gym? I don’t know.

Jeff: The front door.

Doreen: Why?

Jeff: Getting into the gym is the hardest part. Once you’re in there and you’ve gone through the workout, it just makes you feel so much better when you’re done.

Doreen: Oh, okay. So the heaviest weight in, like the heaviest thing to overcome.

Jeff: Is the front door.

Doreen: That’s true.

Jeff: Getting in there.

Doreen: That’s true. What through the air? You know, like so many times, sorry to interrupt, but so many times I don’t feel like exercising. But I have to tell you a secret that I do that I think maybe you might wanna consider. I kind of set myself up the day before for my planned exercise. So even though, like this morning, after I did my Morning Miracle routine, my clothes to get onto the Peloton were laid out the night before.

So I was like, oh, I really would rather just sit here and do what I’m doing. But I said, no, I’m gonna take one step. And go ahead and put my clothes on. And then the next step was to go and put my hair up. And then, and the next step was to walk to the Peloton, and then the next step was to get on the Peloton.

So all those little baby steps, once I got going within the first two minutes of the warmup, I was like, okay, I got this. Like this can be fun today. So I encourage you to do baby steps even when you don’t want to. Right?

Jeff: And I was, and I was jealous of you.

Doreen: Why?

Jeff: Because I didn’t get it there. I didn’t get the workout in this morning. So I was proud of you and jealous.

Doreen: Okay. So what else?

Jeff: Well, I just think it’s, like you said, it’s much, much better to consult a doctor first if you have any kind of issues physically.

Doreen: Yeah. We already talked about that. Okay. But I wanna talk about if you’re not a workout person, just don’t overthink it .

Don’t overthink it. Five minutes a day or five minutes, five days a week can make a huge difference in your physical life. It doesn’t have to be, cuz I know I suffer from this need to have to do everything like, to the top, you know, like over,

Jeff: Over the top.

Doreen: Over the top. So I can’t just do like a you know, a five minute walk.

I’ve gotta do like an hour walk. No, that’s wrong. Just do anything that you can to get yourself out there to start exercising because it’s social, because it’s amazing for your body, because it just feels good because you’re gonna have you know, the endorphins hitting you. And yeah. It doesn’t have to be anything overwhelming, so please, please, please consider it.

Jeff: Yeah. And then it also takes you away from some of the other habits that might have, like, takes you away from the tv.

Doreen: Yeah, that’s true.

Jeff: It takes you away from the refrigerator, you know, and just get you outside.

Doreen: Yep. True. All right, so let’s talk about the top 10 things that we wanna tell you about exercise..

So the first thing is I’m gonna do the first five. Okay? It improves your mood swings, it clears your mind, it empowers you. It fosters self-love. It is contributing in your weight loss if you need to lose weight. What’s the next five?

Jeff: Okay. We got, gives you more energy. It takes your mind to a different place and it kind of acts as an escape.

Okay. Helps you to make friends. We’ve talked about that one. That’s a good one. And boost your self-esteem very, very important and very important. Reduces stress.

Doreen: So, you know, going through divorce again can be a very. unsettling time of course, of course. And so hitting the gym really does take some of the pain away and make life seem so much more manageable.

So try it.

Jeff: Try it.

Doreen: All right guys. That’s our episode for today. We hope you enjoyed it. Get out there and maybe do a little exercise. Whatever it is, don’t overthink it. And make the commitment to yourself, you deserve it. All right, my friends, we’ll talk to you next week. Again, if you have any comments and would like to, you know, talk to us on any level, please give us a shout out.

You can, we’d appreciate if you would, give a thumbs up to the podcast. That’s always super nice of you to do. If you feel inclined to do so. And as always, you can reach us at www.lad-coaching.com. That’s life after divorce coaching.com and love to hear from you.

Jeff: Yes, have a great night and thank you.

Doreen: All right, everybody. See you next time. Bye bye.

Jeff: You have the vision of what you want your life to look like after divorce, but maybe you just don’t know how to get there. So if you’re ready to take control of your life and want to find out more about our coaching, visit us at lad-coaching.com. That’s L A D as in life after divorce dash coaching.com.

Doreen: Until next time, have an amazing rest of your day. And remember, yes, you can have an amazing life after divorce.